11th-ELA Discussion Group
Home  Discussion Forum  Do People Complain Too Much?
Do People Complain Too Much?
Subscribe Flat View
 
Saturday, November 15, 2014 8:56:24 PM
llewis
Joined on 6/9/2014
24 Posts
Do People Complain Too Much?

Complaining Is Hard to Avoid, but Try to Do It With a Purpose


 

By ALINA TUGEND

Published: May 3, 2013

 

I RECENTLY had a mundane exchange with an acquaintance that took an odd twist.

Me: “How’re you doing?”

Her: “Can’t complain. And you?”

Me: “Can’t complain either. But I still do.”

Typically, we would chuckle knowingly and move on. But instead, she pointed to a purple rubber bracelet on her arm, like the once-ubiquitous yellow Livestrong ones, and asked if I knew aboutAComplaintFreeWorld.org — the words etched on the bracelet.

The idea, she said, is that every time you complain, you switch the bracelet from one wrist to another. The goal is to go 21 days without complaining.

She recommended I visit Complaint Free World’s Web site, and then offered me her bracelet.

I took it, both intrigued and repelled by the idea.

Like many people, I have a love-hate relationship with complaining. There is little that is more satisfying than chewing over a meaty complaint about an idiotic service person or the really annoying thing that friend does or how unbelievably rude a teenager can be.

On the other hand, I really dislike people who constantly whine about the same thing. Or those who come to me seemingly wanting advice but then ignore my suggestions and continue grumbling about the same grievance.

So do I want a complaint-free world? Or just one free of the kind of complaints I don’t like?

It depends. Not many people believe we will ever have a world devoid of complaints. Nor should we.

“Psychologically, it’s really unhealthy to squelch complaints,” said Guy Winch, a psychologist and author of “The Squeaky Wheel.” “By not complaining aloud, it doesn’t mean the dissatisfaction has gone away. You’re just not voicing it.”

Some complaints serve as an icebreaker or a bonding experience. Grousing about the weather or traffic is an easy way to start a conversation or simply to avoid standing silently next to each other in an elevator.

“It’s one way to create rapport,” said Joanna Wolfe, a professor of English at Carnegie-Mellon University whose research focuses on communication styles. Complaining about a late bus with other riders, for instance, “creates kind of a solidarity,” she said. “I’ve made friends that way.”

So in my ideal world, I would not do away with those kinds of complaints, although Will Bowen, founder of A Complaint Free World, disagrees.

“A lot of research has been done that shows complaining is damaging to health, relationships and careers,” he said. “When people go 21 days without a complaint, they say they are happier.”

Instead of using a complaint as a conversation opener, he suggested, “talk to them about something good or positive.”

But, he said, his message should not be misunderstood.

He is not arguing that you can’t note when something is wrong. He says you should just do it directly in a neutral manner to the person responsible, not to everyone around you and not with a voice of outrage.

“Say, ‘The soup is cold, and could you warm it up,’ ” said Mr. Bowen, who is an ordained minister and has written the book “A Complaint Free World.” “Not, ‘How dare you serve me cold soup!’ ” Lose the whiny entitled air.

I agree with that. Too often people’s annoyance at a mishap or something they disagree with ratchets up to fury in a nanosecond, as if everyone and everything is out to get them.

I also agree with Mr. Bowen’s point that we often do not speak frankly to the person doing us wrong. I was in a class where everyone was annoyed at the teacher for regularly failing to show up on time. It was an easily fixable problem, but all of us — about a dozen — complained in whispers to one another for weeks.

A few grumbled to other teachers and even spoke to the head of the entire program. But nothing changed. Finally, one brave soul broached the subject directly with our teacher.

He responded graciously and started showing up promptly.

Mr. Winch said research had shown that when customers bought something they were dissatisfied with, 95 percent would not complain to the company but would voice their dissatisfaction to 10 or 15 friends.

What made my class more typical was that it was all women. While women do not complain more than men, Professor Wolfe said, they seem to because of the way they complain. They are more likely to complain rather than request an action, she said, such as saying, “It’s cold in here,” rather than asking to shut a window or turn up the heat.

Men, on the other hand, tend to complain more to bolster their egos, she said — attacking a politician’s stance, for example, to show their own astuteness.

We may complain differently by sex, but we certainly do it a lot. While studying videos of teams working on creating proposals and brochures, Professor Wolfe found that within an hour, there were 50 expressions of discontent, or close to one complaint a minute.

So we have a long way to go toward a complaint-free world, although it may not be for lack of trying. Ten million people in 106 countries have ordered the purple bracelets since the campaign began in 2006, Mr. Bowen said, although he said he did not know how many went a full three weeks without breaking down.

If the past is any example, the future will be just as complaint-laden. Rabbi Jay Kelman, a Jewish educator in Toronto, says the Bible talks of the incessant grumbling by the Jews who were led out of Egypt.

“They complained about drinks, the leadership, the desert,” he said. They complained that the miraculous substance that sustained them, manna, didn’t taste like real meat. “They’re taken out as slaves from Egypt and they’re kvetching about everything.”

But, he said, there is a distinction in the Bible between good complaining and bad complaining,

“You should complain about social justice,” Rabbi Kelman said. “It shows you are concerned. You don’t want to be too indifferent to complain. But along with the complaint, there has to be action.”

Everyone I talked to agreed on that.

Just complaining without doing anything about it can make us feel victimized and powerless, Mr. Winch said. But when we get a complaint successfully resolved, we feel we have accomplished something and empowered. And, hopefully, made a positive change.

Professor Wolfe said a manager once told her, “ ‘Don’t just sit there and admire the problem. Complain in a way to move toward a solution.’ ”

But to complain in the right way, we need to be aware of two things, Mr. Winch said. We need to override the initial defeatist attitude most of us have — that inner voice that says, “Why bother? There’s no point.”

And we need to be aware of what we want to achieve by complaining. Resolve a problem? Let someone know about the predicament so it won’t happen in the future? Excuse one’s own failings?

Blowing off steam is all right, too, if done judiciously. If I am complaining about my sons’ inability to pick up their clothes from the floor, I probably don’t want advice. I want murmurs of sympathy. But if I did it constantly, I wouldn’t blame my friends for gently telling me to shut up.

So back to the idea of a complaint-free world. I have to admit that focusing on complaining has made me aware of some unnecessary negativity on my part.

But I’m certainly not ready to abstain altogether. I like indulging in the occasional whine too much. I would, however, settle for a world free of others’ complaints about me.

  • Would you like to have less complaining in your life? Why or why not?
  • What are the complaints you tend to hear, or make, the most?
  • Why do you think some people complain among themselves instead of addressing a situation directly, like the students who were unhappy with their teacher’s frequent lateness?
  • Would you consider wearing a bracelet to encourage yourself and others to curb the complaints? Why or why not?
  • Please make sure to answer the above questions and also respond to two other students by 5:00pm Friday, November 21, 2014

 

Tuesday, November 18, 2014 3:11:24 AM
allison.wilton
Joined on 10/30/2014
8 Posts
Re: Do People Complain Too Much?

Complaining is a necessity. Without it, there would be no improvement. Yes, I would like to have less whining, but I consider there to be a difference between whining and complaining, as stated that "along with the complaint, there has to be action"(1). I tend to hear and make complaints about people. I think people tend to complain to others because they are the ones presenting the complaint; therefore, they can adapt their story to make others sympathetic to their plight. On the other hand, if they were to address a situation directly, they would have to take into consideration someone else's point of view. I would consider wearing a bracelet, but I don't believe that I would ever actually wear it. For one reason, I don't like wearing bracelets. For another, I would constantly be focused on my "complaining". Sometimes complaining can be a good thing. When humanity complained about not being able to work at night, Thomas Edison invented the lightbulb. When we complained about religious persecution in England, we took measures to start our own country and society.
Wednesday, November 19, 2014 10:52:27 PM
Unknown
Joined on
6 Posts
Re: Re: Do People Complain Too Much?

Allison- I agree with you totally on the bracelet wearing, because like you said it would be a constant focus which would take away from the everyday events: life, school, homework, i.e. I would have liked for you to finish your thought at the end of your paragraph. I thought you writing to be very delightful.
 
Wednesday, November 19, 2014 3:16:38 AM
allison.wilton
Joined on 10/30/2014
8 Posts
Re: Re: Re: Do People Complain Too Much?

For you, Sierra ;)-
Also, when the colonies decided that having an overseas "mother country" was not working in their benefit, they worked to separate themselves and become independent. All through history, there are instances of complaints being answered and resolved, and others where no action was taken. These examples demonstrate, in my opinion, the difference between whining and complaining.
Thursday, November 20, 2014 2:43:20 AM
claudia.ramirez
Joined on 10/30/2014
8 Posts
Re: Re: Do People Complain Too Much? (1)

Allison,
To be honest, I hadn't thought about the idea that complaining leads to improvement ("Without it [complaining], there would not be improvement"(1)). I partially agree with it. I believe that when the person has a good motive and has thought about the issue to come up with a solution, is when it leads to improvement. However, sometimes the "Squeaky wheel gets the more attention." and is when the "improvement" or "a solution" emerge. I believe that this kind of "improvement or solution" are really not beneficial.  Also, when people complain for other reasons such as laziness and irresponsibility, it doesn't lead anywhere. On the other hand, I respectfully disagree with your statement "Complaining is a necessity". Most of the time, people are subjected to responsibilities where everything that is asked is reasonable. 
Friday, November 21, 2014 3:58:09 PM
Unknown
Joined on
7 Posts
Re: Re: Do People Complain Too Much? (2)

 I completely agree Allison. The part about the bracelet is a good point. If your mind is on complaining you will end up complaining. Going against what you are trying to accomplish. Very good point wish i could of thought of that. Also the difference between whining and complaining was a great point.
Friday, November 21, 2014 5:05:01 AM
Unknown
Joined on
7 Posts
Re: Re: Do People Complain Too Much? (3)

Allison-
I agree with you whole heartily on the bracelet idea. Although i am a fan of bracelets, i don't like to wear something like that. Either i would also focus on my complaining, or i would simply just forget about it. I feel that as a younger generation arises, we really need to consider other ways of  getting them away from complaining, besides silly bracelets. 
Friday, November 21, 2014 6:00:49 AM
Unknown
Joined on
6 Posts
Re: Re: Do People Complain Too Much? (4)

Allison-- what would you say the difference in whining and complaining would be because you act as if complaining is a good thing. When do you every see someone complain about the problem that they face head on. when I think of complaining I think of someone who is going and telling people who cant fix a problem how the other person should always suite their benefits. there is no improvement happening here only gossip that will more than likely get around to that person who will not want to even try to help make things easier for them simply because you have spread around a bad reputation that may have been forced on that person who had no choice but to do what they did.  
Wednesday, November 19, 2014 10:45:33 PM
Unknown
Joined on
6 Posts
Re: Do People Complain Too Much? (1)

Personally, I do not have much complaining in my life. Except for the occasional whine that i haven't done much and I need to clean the house. The complaints I tend to hear are ones of homework assignments, practices, teachers that supposedly "hate you", those sorta things. I think that when you complain, without directly addressing the issue, you are looking for attention and someone else who might agree with you. I, myself, complain about a lot of things so i would consider wearing the non-complaint bracelet simply because it would be a challenge everyday.
Wednesday, November 19, 2014 3:12:44 AM
allison.wilton
Joined on 10/30/2014
8 Posts
Re: Re: Do People Complain Too Much? (1)

Sierra-
I concur with you on the point that, if one complains, it is likely that one is looking for attention. However, I would like to point out that some types of "complaining" (for lack of a better term) are directed to bring attention to a certain problem or situation. These incidences may or may not include the individual that is drawing attention to them. For example, a student brought the idea before the school board that we should have Veteran's Day off to honor veterans within our family. Now someone else might not classify this as complaining, but to me, this is the "good" kind of complaining. The student saw something that she thought needed improvement, or was not up to standard, and took action to make it better. The student didn't necessarily complain for her own benefit, but also had others thoughts and beliefs in mind, too.
Thursday, November 20, 2014 10:46:45 PM
Unknown
Joined on
8 Posts
Re: Re: Re: Do People Complain Too Much? (1)

Allison,
Well yes the complaining that led to students having Veteran's Day off was of good intention, however, it led to further complaining. Plenty students, teachers, and parents all complained about having a day off in the middle of the week. In a sense what one student thought was meant for good led to even more complaining in the school. So sometimes complaining leads to another problem for people to complain about. Its just a cycle that this world seems to go through.
Thursday, November 20, 2014 4:18:26 PM
Unknown
Joined on
7 Posts
Re: Re: Do People Complain Too Much? (1) (1)

Sierra,
I completely agree with what you said about the people that complain want "attention." I think that the complainers are usually people with more on their plate or those with more stress in their lives. They are the ones who look for attention and want to be shown sympathy. The other complainers are some with self-esteem issues and search for attention to make themselves feel better. 
Thursday, November 20, 2014 4:25:17 PM
Unknown
Joined on
7 Posts
Re: Re: Do People Complain Too Much? (1) (2)

Sierra,
People do complain about some really dumb stuff sometimes. Kids are always complaining about teachers, coaches, homework, and many other things. I agree with you that many kids think the teachers and coaches "hate them" so they have to complain about it to get attention. When people complain and complain they are getting nothing done, just running out of breath. 

Friday, November 21, 2014 3:50:34 PM
alexis.reyes
Joined on 10/30/2014
7 Posts
Re: Re: Do People Complain Too Much? (1) (3)

Sierra-
I agree with you completely on your response when you said, "Except for the occasional whine that i haven't done much and I need to clean the house," because i too have the same issue if I'm behind on house chores. Also, that's a very good step for you if you personally think or know you complain too much to challenge yourself to reduce your complaining.
Friday, November 21, 2014 11:45:56 PM
Unknown
Joined on
6 Posts
Re: Re: Do People Complain Too Much? (1) (4)

Sierra-
i completely agree with everyone complaining about homework assignments, practices, ect. I also agree that if you complain your just asking for attention from someone. Your point about wearing the bracelet was almost what I was thinking. If you focus on something your trying not to do you will be less likely to do it.
Thursday, November 20, 2014 4:14:07 PM
Unknown
Joined on
7 Posts
Re: Do People Complain Too Much? (2)

Less complaining probably wouldn't help much, but less whining would. There is a complete difference between complaining and whining. I would appreciate less whining because there would be more positive energy and fewer negative attitudes. Although, complaining can get things changed for the better, the issue must be approached in the correct way. With a simple complaint in a positive helpful manner is far more progressive than a negative whining complaint. Without complaints there wouldn't ever be any change. The complaints I tend to hear are people expressing sad emotion about their personal flaws or things that aren't going their way. I tend to make some similar complaints to the ones I hear. In my opinion people complain among themselves instead of addressing the issue at hand instead, because they feel like the process to make a positive complaint is too 'hard' and they are also nervous to be rejected, therefore they whine about it to be shown sympathy so they can feel better about the situation. I would consider wearing a bracelet to encourage myself to curb the complaints, because I am the type of person that if there is a problem I will address it instead of whining about it, but I also whine and complain when it's not very important. My complaints are negative and with fewer whiny complaints of my own my life as well as those around me would live happier and with fewer worries. 
  

Friday, November 21, 2014 4:02:59 PM
Unknown
Joined on
7 Posts
Re: Re: Do People Complain Too Much? (2)

Kurstin- 
My question for you Kurstin is if whining is the real problem, what is a way that we could go about that would cause less whining? I know it is impossible for everyone to be happy but I'm interested in how you would go about dealing with the problem not just noticing it. With some input from our class mates maybe we can come up with a way to stop the problem.
Tuesday, November 25, 2014 3:35:51 PM
Unknown
Joined on
8 Posts
Re: Re: Do People Complain Too Much? (2) (1)

-Kurstin
    
I agree with you on the whining part, there's a difference between complaining and whining if there was less of whining there would be more positive energy like you said. You are right again when you say that we complain about things that aren't that important, but when we do come complain it could get some things changed because we are expressing how we feel. You make some good points Kurstin. 
Tuesday, November 25, 2014 8:47:57 PM
Unknown
Joined on
4 Posts
Re: Re: Do People Complain Too Much? (2) (2)

Kurstin,
I completely agree with you on all of what you said. Everyone sees themselves in different ways and always complains about their image and sometimes its just for attention and that can be very annoying. Others, like you said, just have sad emotions and they actually do need to be talked to. You had very good points and saw both sides of things. I, too, have the same problem with complaining about things that aren't very important at the moment but I think that as a class we should help each other somehow and make a change in how one another take complaints and other things. 
Thursday, November 20, 2014 4:16:35 PM
Unknown
Joined on
5 Posts
Re: Do People Complain Too Much? (3)

Yes, I would very much enjoy less complaining in my life. I feel this way because, if complaining is all you do all day, you will never get anything accomplished. And if you don't get anything accomplished, you're basically a waste of space in this fast pace world. Complaints I tend to hear and make the most throughout my day are about teachers, coaches, and school work. You would really be surprised on how many kids my age despise their coaches and teachers. I think the reason why people tend to complain among themselves is because its easier. Instead of having to go and meet formally with the company, teacher, coach, supervisor, whatever it may be, it is so much easier to just bash on them in secret. This isn't the right thing to do. Therefore, I am willing to wear a bracelet to try and curb this complaining issue. And by doing this I will also try encouraging many of my friends to do the same.
Thursday, November 20, 2014 4:22:40 PM
Unknown
Joined on
7 Posts
Re: Re: Do People Complain Too Much? (3)

Caleb, 
So many kids our age complain! It's pretty ridiculous. Like you said, instead of just talking to the people they have a problem with they just to complain to all their friends, as if this would fix anything. People in today's society complain to much for no reason and get nothing done. I mean it would be different if they voiced their complaint in a respectful manor to someone who could fix the problem, but rarely do people do this. I agree with you that we need to work on all the useless complaining in today's society. 
Thursday, November 20, 2014 11:03:06 PM
Unknown
Joined on
8 Posts
Re: Re: Do People Complain Too Much? (3) (1)

Caleb,
I must agree with you. It is just the easy way out to go and complain to our friends about our coaches. This is evident in our class. Many kids in our school dislike at least one administrator within the school, or they dislike another student. Based on our Biblical beliefs this is wrong, as you said. We are taught to treat others as you wish to be treated. Yet somehow in society it has become, it's okay to bash others as long as they don't bash you. Complaining isn't right nor will it ever be. Furthermore, I agree that we should encourage our friends to stop complaining as well because it will make everyone's lives more present. 

Thursday, November 20, 2014 6:08:41 AM
alexis.reyes
Joined on 10/30/2014
7 Posts
Re: Re: Do People Complain Too Much? (3) (2)

Caleb - 
Yes, you have some good points, but i have to disagree with you by when you said complaining will pretty much make you a waste of space in this world. In my opinion, people complain because it's a natural thing to do as a human being. Not everybody is going to be content with everything. Everybody has a right to their own opinion. And there will always be someone to complain about something. Yes, it would be nice if everybody agreed and didn't complain, but you partially ranting on this issue makes you somewhat of a complainer as well.
Friday, November 21, 2014 3:59:42 PM
claudia.ramirez
Joined on 10/30/2014
8 Posts
Re: Re: Do People Complain Too Much? (3) (3)

Caleb,

I agree with your statement “if complaining is all you do all day, you will never get anything accomplished. And if you don’t get anything accomplished, you’re basically a waste of space in this fast pace world.” I disagree with people that complain in circumstances where their opinion or acts are not going to affect or change the outcome. Complaining should be used, if ever, in a positive manner. I believe that the complainer should have a plan to address the problem instead of just disagreeing. Just as is mentioned in the article “Along with complaint, there has to be action.” Also, I agree with your idea about meeting formally with the company to solve a controversy. I believe honesty should continue to be part of society’s morals and ethics. I say “continue” because a vast amount of people don’t care about it anymore.  

Friday, November 21, 2014 9:17:20 PM
Unknown
Joined on
6 Posts
Re: Re: Do People Complain Too Much? (3) (4)

Caleb
I agree with what your saying teenagers in our age do complain a lot about teachers, coaches, and homework, and I am surprised on how many complain because some people complain because they didn't get what they want but many others don't have a lot like a family, or even a home. people shouldn't bash others behind their back if I have something to say about someone ill tell them to their face instead of behind their back. I would also wear the bracelet because I do believe it just starts with one person to make the change happen.
Friday, November 21, 2014 9:14:35 PM
Unknown
Joined on
6 Posts
Re: Re: Do People Complain Too Much? (3) (4)

Caleb
I agree with what your saying teenagers in our age do complain a lot about teachers, coaches, and homework, and I am surprised on how many complain because some people complain because they didn't get what they want but many others don't have a lot like a family, or even a home. people shouldn't bash others behind their back if I have something to say about someone ill tell them to their face instead of behind their back. I would also wear the bracelet because I do believe it just starts with one person to make the change happen.
Thursday, November 20, 2014 4:18:23 PM
Unknown
Joined on
7 Posts
Re: Do People Complain Too Much? (4)

I do not think all complaining is bad. Yes, people shouldn't just whine and complain about everything but there is a difference in complaining just to complain and structurally complaining. If there is a problem that needs fixed you would go talk to the people who can fix it. I wouldn't consider this action complaining, you are just trying to get something fixed. It is different, however, when a week later you are still talking to all your friends about how that problem needed fixing. People shouldn't be complaining just to complain, but in today's society, a vast majority does. 
I really like in the article when it talks about emotions affect your complaints. If someone has a bad day they are more likely to whine and complain about something then too just fix the problem. I also believe that, to an extend, complaining affects our morals and behavior. In the article it gives an example that your at a restaurant and your soup is cold. You should just ask them politely to warm your soup up not yell at them for serving you cold soup. Everyone is only human and deserves the respect and kindness that you would want people to show you. 
Thursday, November 20, 2014 5:04:41 PM
Unknown
Joined on
7 Posts
Re: Re: Do People Complain Too Much? (4)

Autumn, 
I strongly agree with your statement, "complaining affects our morals and behavior." With so much complaining in today's society, everyone has become extremely negative and we can see a change in student's and young adults behavior compared to elderly generations. Compared to younger generations, the elderly people have a positive attitude and there is hardly anything for them to whine about, and the younger are more "give me, give me, give me" and in-appreciative instead of humble and thankful.   
Tuesday, November 25, 2014 3:43:24 PM
Unknown
Joined on
8 Posts
Re: Re: Do People Complain Too Much? (4) (1)

-Autumn
  
   You make some really great points and I agree with you on everything you said. What you said kinda makes me go back on what I said. You said complaining is not all that bad, I feel like some people get complaining and expressing their option mixed up though. Some people think that complaining will get something changed and sometimes it does but other times, it just gets people mad and they think you are crying ( whining) about it. But if you come in with some valid points then they might take the time to sit down and listen to you. So yes i agree with you when you say that complaining is not that bad. 
Thursday, November 20, 2014 10:56:12 PM
Unknown
Joined on
8 Posts
Re: Do People Complain Too Much? (5)

Complaining is part of society whether it is liked or not. However, it is overused to a degree. Students complain to their teachers about homework, tests, grades, or lost papers. Students then go home and often tell parents that the teacher hates them. This triggers anger in the student's parent and sends them to complain to that teacher for mistreating their baby. Complaining is a cycle that continues all the time. People often complain for fear of what the other person might say. However, growing up in a small town I feel like we are able to hash out our problems with our teachers. This still leads to some complaining but most teachers are willing to sit and talk with their students instead of hearing their complaints. Mrs. Lewis, for example, is one such teacher, she would much rather deal with the student than their parent. So, to encourage myself to stop complaining as much I would consider wearing the bracelet. Although, as ditsy as I am I would forget to switch my bracelet or forget which wrist I started on. So that idea may not be suitable for me. Any other suggestions that may help me stop complaining would be helpful.
Thursday, November 20, 2014 12:51:17 AM
claudia.ramirez
Joined on 10/30/2014
8 Posts
Re: Do People Complain Too Much? (6)

Personally, I believe a utopia society is a society without complaints. Would I like one? I am not sure.  There are two sides to the issue. It can have a positive effect when it is used to start a new conversation. Complaining about the weather or the traffic may “serve as an icebreaker or a bonding experience.”(11) according to Alina. Also, It may encourage new solutions for a specific issue. However, when complaining is misused or misinterpreted, it can cause more damage. For example, when someone is trying to be helpful and the receiver complains, the helper might get implicitly encouraged to stop helping. Likewise, when a negative message is transmitted, is more likely to create a negative climate. People around the negative sender can get contagious.

Complaints can be found anywhere; for example, in my school. Most of the time, I tend to hear complaints about teachers/coaches, personal responsibilities which may include homework or home chores, and political authorities. Those who complain when a task is given are not assuming their responsibilities.   When people do this, is usually in a negative manner. I believe that the main reason for complaining is dissatisfaction. Those who complain among themselves, avoiding the controversy, are not willing to solve the problem. I totally agree with the phrase for the article Complaining Is Hard to Avoid, but Try to Do it With a Purpose “Along with complaint, there has to be action.” (31).  So wearing a bracelet that reminds me to stop complaining would be a solution for my complaints about my complaining. Just as Alina Tugend, I have a love-hate relationship with complaining. By the way, I don't think we'll ever reach the utopia. 

Friday, November 21, 2014 4:43:41 AM
allison.wilton
Joined on 10/30/2014
8 Posts
Re: Re: Do People Complain Too Much? (6)

Claudia-
I agree when you say that the main reason for complaining is dissatisfaction, but dissatisfaction could be applied to a situation where something is not up to speed, standard, or date. Many things and ideas are becoming obsolete, and the only reason they are is because people are complaining about them more and complimenting them less. However, I believe that these concepts do not ​need​ to become obsolete, they just need to be improved. Complaints from users and consumers can help the manufacturers to better their product.
Tuesday, November 25, 2014 3:39:24 PM
Unknown
Joined on
7 Posts
Re: Re: Do People Complain Too Much? (6) (1)

Claudia-I agree with you wholeheartedly. Complaining should have place and a time, but it should be done constructively. But my question for you is that the reason most people complain is because of how much they have to do. So shouldn't people who take on more responsibilities have more time do take of those responsibilities? 
Thursday, November 20, 2014 5:52:28 AM
alexis.reyes
Joined on 10/30/2014
7 Posts
Re: Do People Complain Too Much? (7)

Not necessarily would i like to have less complaining in my life. I mean yes, complaining is quite annoying, but ranting about other peoples complaints... is complaining, just like in the article Complaining is Hard to Avoid, but Try to Do it With a Purpose, it quotes, "I really dislike people who constantly whine about the same thing. Or those who come to me seemingly wanting advice but then ignore my suggestions and continue grumbling about the same grievance" (1). Complaining is something that just happens naturally in this world. The complaints I hear are, "I'm so tired," but yet you stay up all night. The complaints I personally make are, "I'm so ugly." Mostly because I've become lazy with my wardrobe and make myself feel ugly. Some people complain among themselves instead of addressing a situation because they don't want others to have to hear their personal problems. Sometimes it is good to share your complaints with others to get advice or help to solve your problems. Yes, i would consider wearing a bracelet to encourage myself and others to curb the complaints just to see how long i can go without complaining. 
Friday, November 21, 2014 11:49:47 PM
Unknown
Joined on
6 Posts
Re: Re: Do People Complain Too Much? (7)

Alexis-
i definetly agree with everything that you said in this statement, I wish I could of thought of it myself. The fact that people complain about everything isn't always necissarily a bad thing because it could be something to do with family issues of personal issues. 
Friday, November 21, 2014 3:52:28 PM
Unknown
Joined on
7 Posts
Re: Do People Complain Too Much? (8)

I believe complaining is one of the causes for bad health. My mother for example works around a large amount of people. The complaints that some of them make, are irrelevant and frustrating. This makes my mothers job ten times harder. The friction that some people make in the office spreads like wild fire. I have spent many hours up at the clinic before I could drive. I observed that after one person complains it spreads from person to person. Causing unneeded tension and conflict. This makes easy problems harder. Causing mental and physical fatigue. It seems easier to just ask nicely instead of complaining because the complaining ends up causing everyone problems not just the person they complained to. 
Friday, November 21, 2014 7:35:49 PM
Unknown
Joined on
6 Posts
Re: Re: Do People Complain Too Much? (8)

Tyler-
I agree that complaining can be destructive for the staff morale. However, maybe it is not the complaint that causes the issue. When a patient makes a comment about how they could improve the clinic the staff should consider what the suggestion is. In most cases the one who receives the complaint feels like they are to blame and becomes angry.  
Friday, November 21, 2014 4:59:46 AM
Unknown
Joined on
7 Posts
Re: Re: Do People Complain Too Much? (8) (1)

Tyler-
You brought up many great points. My mom also works in a job where there is often a lot of complaining, and growing up seeing the stress and such that it puts on your parents is definitely frustrating. I feel we share the same ideas as far as people need to stop complaining to the public, and being attention seekers. If you have a problem with someone or something, address it with them, not the entire town. 
Tuesday, November 25, 2014 3:55:07 AM
Unknown
Joined on
5 Posts
Re: Re: Do People Complain Too Much? (8) (2)

Tyler-
          You brought up many different points here and many great points. Complaining can and sometimes is bad for ones health. When you look at it in this perspective one would be smart to try to do everything to stop complaining for the sake of themselves and others.  
Friday, November 21, 2014 3:59:47 PM
andres.soliz
Joined on 10/30/2014
6 Posts
Re: Do People Complain Too Much? (9)

Yes, i would like less complaining in my life because i hate when people extend the situation further than it has to be. Just get over it, its not the end of the world. the complaints i always tend to hear is having a lecture on something i didn't do or when i get told something and i do the something wrong when it was the person who told me fault because they tell me different. People complain to themselves instead to the person they want to complain too because those people don't want to cause a bigger scene of the problem the was enforced. Just accepted the consequence and and move on with your life.Yes, because complaining causes people to stress out especially, the person your complaining to and i agree on wearing a bracelet. It will help you understand that a complaining free world is a good world. Being happy with yourself and others, will increase your morale and you will never be angry after what people tell you.
Friday, November 21, 2014 9:15:38 PM
Unknown
Joined on
6 Posts
Re: Re: Do People Complain Too Much? (9)

Andres-
    I agree with your'e statment 100%. But lets be honest do you really think the bracelet is going to stop the complaining? Sure it would be great and yes the world would be a better place but I highly doubt that would ever happen. People complain about complaining daily, i don't think something so small like a bracelet is going to stop that. Complaining is just a part of people's every day life.

~Rose(:
Tuesday, November 25, 2014 3:56:12 PM
Unknown
Joined on
6 Posts
Re: Re: Do People Complain Too Much? (9) (1)

Andres-
I understand what  you mean but I disagree. The bracelet would only cause more stress people's already hectic lives. In the back of your mind you would know that can't complain but the people need a voice at the same time. So for me, I believe that the bracelet would make me feel worse.
Friday, November 21, 2014 4:16:44 PM
Unknown
Joined on
6 Posts
Re: Do People Complain Too Much? (10)

Would I like to have less complaining in my life? Yes! I realize that complaining can be helpful, in that if there is a problem you should voice your opinion. What is bothering you may also be bothering  another. However, in my experience after I indulge in creating a sense of empathy I often feel helpless to the situation. Furthermore I did find it interesting that it can build camaraderie.  
Friday, November 21, 2014 7:33:08 PM
andres.soliz
Joined on 10/30/2014
6 Posts
Re: Re: Do People Complain Too Much? (10)

Kyle-I agree with you but some people could only take complaining to a certain extent, even if it is helpful. Some people will just completely ignore what you told them.
Tuesday, November 25, 2014 8:49:52 PM
Unknown
Joined on
6 Posts
Re: Re: Do People Complain Too Much? (10) (1)

Kyle-
First off good vocabulary usage. Second of all I agree with you, but as long as you're addressing the problem when you voice the opinion, as the article states, it would help with a lot of problems.
Friday, November 21, 2014 9:02:25 PM
Unknown
Joined on
6 Posts
Re: Do People Complain Too Much? (11)

Mrs. Lewis

                Less complaining in my life seems impossible. Without complaining my life wouldn’t ever be the same. Yes I’d love to have absolutely no complaining, but I find that impossible especially in these days because kids are so stubborn and like to complain about everything and anything. Complains I hear the most are, “I didn’t do it”, or “why me” or “ugh I hate school”. Simple things like that are usually the ones I hear people say daily, and quite frankly it gets annoying. I think people complain to themselves most of the time because, well I honestly don’t have another reason besides that their never happy with anything that goes on in life. Wearing a bracelet isn’t going to stop the complaints at all, sure people will compliment you but what happens after that? Everything goes back to the way it was before. I just think that complaining isn’t ever going to end and that people need to suck it up and deal with whatever is going on, because it’s not only effecting you its effecting others around you with all that negativity.

Friday, November 21, 2014 9:05:40 PM
Unknown
Joined on
6 Posts
Re: Do People Complain Too Much? (12)

Mrs. Lewis
I would like to have less complaining in my life because my family complains about why I wear my hair the way I do and why I wear the clothes that I wear. the most complaints are my hair, clothes, and why I don't wear makeup. I think some people complain among themselves instead of addressing the situation directly is because they think that it will go away on its own without them intervening. Yes I would wear a bracelet to encourage myself and others to curb the complaints because we shouldn't complain about little things like clothes, and hair but we should complain about stopping the pollution of the earth, and the cutting down of rainforests,
Friday, November 21, 2014 9:41:25 PM
Unknown
Joined on
6 Posts
Re: Re: Do People Complain Too Much? (12)

Kesha-
       I don't think that you need to change anything about you're self, and others especially your family shouldn't make you change either. Yes I think that is very wrong, but honestly would your life ever be the same without all that complaining in your life? Sure it would be nice, but some people do show their love by being negative towards you. Family is family and that's just their way of showing that they do love you, even though it doesn't really seem that way. And my question to you is, do you honestly think that a bracelet is going to stop the problem of people complaining? Or stop the negativity that people have to say? Or do you think the bracelet is going to bring more complaining from other people that don't wear it, or even from the people that do? And when you said we should complain about cutting down trees, well that's just honestly another complain that you hear all the time.  
Friday, November 21, 2014 11:40:11 PM
Unknown
Joined on
6 Posts
Re: Do People Complain Too Much? (13)

I believe that complaining is going to happen no matter what anyone tries. I myself complain daily about things such as practice or having to do homework after school. These complaints I believe are the ones I hear daily. Wearing a bracelet would definetly help to keep from complaining because it would keep your mind off of everything you would usually think of complaining for. I think that most people complain among themselves because they probably get tired or annoyed of hearing other people complain to them so they don't want to sound annoying complaining to everyone so they keep it to themselves.
Friday, November 21, 2014 5:16:19 AM
Unknown
Joined on
7 Posts
Re: Do People Complain Too Much? (14)

Complaining gets thrown out of context most of the time. I think anyone would be happy if the people in their lives didn't complain as much as normal. Yet, the word "complain" gets thrown around way to freely. Often i hear someone make a comment on how someone else is "complaining" because of practice, or homework, or the occasional house chores, but who has the right to say that's wrong.They are just as bad by making that comment. That's a contradictory issue. I feel like we should appreciate the little things more, address the people directly that we have issues with, and stop being so negative. Complaining is just a word that gets misused, because you don't understand the other side of the story. 
Friday, November 21, 2014 5:47:10 AM
Unknown
Joined on
6 Posts
Re: Re: Do People Complain Too Much? (14)

Kylie--- So you say who has the right to say its wrong there is a difference in complaining and expressing ideas. Complaining is the issue of telling everybody a issue in your life that you necessarily cannot change. Now if we are confronting a issue head on with that particular problem in the room then that is merely suggesting that you feel like what is going on is unfair and you should let them explain why they are doing it they way they are instead of starting up false accusations without understanding why that problem is happening to you.
Friday, November 21, 2014 5:38:47 AM
Unknown
Joined on
6 Posts
Re: Do People Complain Too Much? (15)

Complaining is one thing that really gets on my nerves yes it is good to tell people thing that are unfair and unjust sometimes but I am strongly opposed to complaining all the time about the same thing over and over again. People need to realize that all complaining does is bring everyone down and make them angry and irritable.
Complaints I tend to hear are normally about little stuff in peoples lives. Get over yourself life's hard for everyone. If you cannot handle a little ant hill how am I supposed to count on you to get over a mountain. If its that important and you need to talk to someone talk to one person close to you don't advertise your problems.
I think people complain to themselves because they know they do not have the power to really change that situation so they go tell more people who can't to anything about so really what are you fixing by complaining.
I myself wouldn't wear the bracelet myself simply because I don't think that this this would make a difference in the way I talk am I guilty o complaining yes everyone is but I don't believe that I go over the edge to where all I am know for is complaining like some people but, yes complaining is very old. But enough of complaining about complaining.
Monday, November 24, 2014 3:50:24 PM
Unknown
Joined on
5 Posts
Re: Re: Do People Complain Too Much? (15)

Raymond-
    I agree that complaining does need to change. I also agree that advertising your problems isn't right, but by reading your response to this article, I feel like all your doing is complaining. Your first sentence starts out complaining about how much you hate complaining. Then as you go one throughout your paragraph you mention that people need to get over themselves, it sounds like to me that you aren't able to get over yourself. I mean don't get me wrong, I probably complain way more than you do, I just feel like you went about your response in a sarcastic manner. If complaining is as bad as you think, why would you make it worse by doing nothing but complaining in your original response?
Monday, November 24, 2014 3:50:30 PM
Unknown
Joined on
6 Posts
Re: Do People Complain Too Much? (16)

Honestly, I've never noticed the constant complaining. I know it's there I just really haven't paid attention to it. It's never been so big of a deal, to me, to see it as a big problem and to really catch my attention. Complaints I tend to hear, as a student, are mainly about teachers, parents, and coaches. I would say most people voice their opinion instead of addressing the problem because we don't stop and think most of the time we do. I would consider wearing the complaint bracelet, because I wouldn't mind noticing how much I complain. 
Tuesday, November 25, 2014 3:33:00 PM
Unknown
Joined on
7 Posts
Re: Re: Do People Complain Too Much? (16)

Kayla-I hear and see complaining more often than ever. You are correct in the fact about that it usually about teachers, coaches etc...,but this is in response to a massive shift in our homework load. Every night I can account for the last few weeks having homework in at least three subjects.This can prompt much complaint seeing as that our homework is getting harder not to mention longer. 
Tuesday, November 25, 2014 3:45:42 PM
Unknown
Joined on
6 Posts
Re: Re: Re: Do People Complain Too Much? (16)

LT-
You're right. We tend to complain more when stuff gets harder. I just don't see it as much as the adults in our lives tell us or as a big as a problem as it's made out to be. Maybe it's because I'm the one doing the complaining. 
Tuesday, November 25, 2014 3:33:16 PM
Unknown
Joined on
7 Posts
Re: Re: Do People Complain Too Much? (16) (1)

Kayla-I hear and see complaining more often than ever. You are correct in the fact about that it usually about teachers, coaches etc...,but this is in response to a massive shift in our homework load. Every night I can account for the last few weeks having homework in at least three subjects.This can prompt much complaint seeing as that our homework is getting harder not to mention longer. 
Tuesday, November 25, 2014 8:40:49 PM
Unknown
Joined on
4 Posts
Re: Re: Do People Complain Too Much? (16) (2)

Kayla,
I do see your point but I think the bracelet thing is a bit much. I think we should all be able to notice our complaining levels on our own. Sometimes its a overwhelming to have the bracelets and knowing me I would lose it all the time. 
Monday, November 24, 2014 3:50:30 PM
Unknown
Joined on
8 Posts
Re: Do People Complain Too Much? (17)

Honestly everyone complains about something, it's not wrong and it's not right. Complaining happens everyday, like right now we are complaining about taking a vocabulary test tomorrow, it's kinda funny cause no matter what we say we are going to take that test tomorrow. So complaining gets you nowhere so its better to keep your mouth shut and just go with it. Some people complain without realizing they are complaining, it just comes natural to people. I complain about somethings in my life because it's not fair but  life isn't fair so I just get over it. Students who complain to there teachers about assignments and say it's not fair can just honestly get over themselves because if I was a teacher I would be like , " look I'm the teacher and what I say, goes'' but then again that's probably why I wont ever be a teacher cause I'm mean and I'll make some kids cry. My point is that students these day complain about everything, they just need to shut up and do it because nothing gets handed to you in life. No I wouldn't consider wearing a bracelet to encourage myself and others not to complain because why set myself up for failure when all we do is complain about everything in life. Complaining will never stop, it's become apart of this world. 
Tuesday, November 25, 2014 3:49:32 PM
Unknown
Joined on
6 Posts
Re: Re: Do People Complain Too Much? (17)

Oriana-
I agree with you. Everything you've said was on the dot. 
Monday, November 24, 2014 3:51:13 PM
Unknown
Joined on
7 Posts
Re: Do People Complain Too Much? (18)

Complaining is necessary as long as it is constructive and not groveling over and over the same incessant thing. The most complaints I hear are about teachers or about the homework load they have, which sometimes they make valid points but they never do anything to fix it or make a point. In this I have found that sometime I make the same gestures. I too often complain but never do anything to fix either because I really dont care enough or I'd rather avoid conflict. Humans in general tend to avoid conflict except for a select few, this is why most people try to passively solve problems instead of confronting them head on. As for the bracelets no. I would not wear a bracelet to show that I'm going to stop complaining just stop complaining altogether. 
Tuesday, November 25, 2014 3:47:38 PM
Unknown
Joined on
4 Posts
Re: Do People Complain Too Much? (19)

I do feel like you all have very interesting views on this topic. We all complain, whether we think we do or not. In a way I do see the good in "complaining" and I do see the more annoying side in it. The way I see it, if someone has to vent or just get things off their chest, that would be okay with me. I do feel like people can come to me to tell me what's on their mind or even just have someone to talk to. They could be complaining about how they have been through so much stress and they don't know what to do anymore. I personally think its great to give people a chance to vent their feelings, mainly because you never know what is going on with someone until they finally talk it out. For all we know someone could be thinking of suicide because their life is in complete chaos and all they want to do is talk to someone but some people may think they are just complaining. However, I do see the negative side of complaining. A lot of people do complain just to complain and the way you know those people are just doing it for attention is they complain about every little thing, every single day. It can become very annoying and very stressful. So I do see both side to this story but sometimes I think listening to what people have to say can save a life, even if people think it's "complaining". 
Tuesday, November 25, 2014 9:02:22 PM
paris.allred
Joined on 10/30/2014
3 Posts